Anxiety Anniversary!!

Troy and I at a nice dinner at our resort in Cancun.  Im so thankful to him for his love and support!!!

Feb 16^th marks the one year anniversary of my diagnosis the doctor called “severe anxiety disorder”.  Ironically enough I’m in Cancun again where my story began! However, this time I’m stronger, happier and more fulfilled then I have ever been in my life!!!  

The past twelve months have been full of revelation, growth and maturity for me.  It took hard work and determination to overcome this “disorder” and I’m currently working towards a goal of coming off my anxiety medicine so my husband and I can become pregnant again!

The hard work it took to overcome this…goes a little something like this.  Have you ever seen someone buy a gym membership and NEVER use it??? I’m sure you have...now have you ever seen someone buy the gym membership then try to get their money back because they did not lose any weight, but never went to the gym??  Sounds silly right?? Really, this is just an example to point out that you have to put work into things you want to overcome!!! First and the most important I put God first! Second, I took the time to educate myself on anxiety and what it means to “have anxiety”.  Third, I changed the things in my life that helped cause the anxiety. Fourth, I started taking care of myself better with exercise and diet. None of these things were easy but ALL of them help with controlling anxiety.  You see, anxiety is nothing more than worrying about something that has already happened or has not happened yet. We are not in control of the future and we have to move on from the past.   In Ecclesiastes 5:1 it says “Keep your foot [give your mind to what you are doing]. Be in the moment…don’t worry about the future or things that have happened in the past. In Matthew 6:34 it says “Do not worry or be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will have worries and anxieties of its own.  Sufficient for each day is its own trouble”.

My battle with anxiety turned when  1)  Troy and I turned it over to God 2) asked for wisdom and admitted that we did not know what to do to change it 3) placed our fears, hopes and prayers upon the Lord.

If you are suffering with anxiety right now…no matter how big or small I encourage you to do the same thing I did.  Give it up to God.  He will direct your path!

O Christmas Tree...O Christmas Tree

 A few weeks ago my lovely family and I were decorating the Christmas Tree.  It's  a huge 10ft tree that is pre-lit.  We got the entire thing up, plugged in and ALL the lights but one little section were out!!!! My husband got the grand idea of putting outside HUGE LED bulb lights on the tree.  So we put them on the tree, plugged it in and....only part of the strain worked. We were left with about 20 lights total on the whole 10ft tree that worked and lots of wasted time.  Oh... how stressful a little thing like decorating a tree can actually become...IF YOU LET IT.

In dealing with my anxiety issues, I have learned that I have choices to make.  I could of chosen in this Christmas tree saga above to curse and throw a huge fit and let the entire situation ruin my night...which I believe I would have done in the past, instead I took a deep breath and remember how blessed I truly am to even be able to put a tree up in the first place.  I took one look at my beautiful boys and how they were so excited to be decorating the tree... with or with out lights...and in that moment...I decided the tree DOES NOT NEED lights this year!!!

In Romans 12:16 we learn that it is wise to plan, but if things don't go our way we must be flexible. I have learned in every situation in my life I need to surrender control. The simple fact is we are not in control...GOD is. Once I truly understood that...the chains of anxiety started to fall from me.  We have all heard the saying "everything happens for a reason" something I like to think that seconds that point is Romans 8:28 this is the scripture that lets us know that, NOT ALL THINGS are good, but God works everything together for HIS good.

Whatever you are facing this Holiday season, remember to think good thoughts and choose to be thankful.  Trust God...he has got your back. It has been said "he will never leave you or forsake you"! That's good news!!!

Has anyone every told you “Don’t worry it’s not the end of the world”?

Has anyone ever told you “Don’t worry it’s not the end of the world” when life handed you a stressful situation? How many times have you been in one of those hard spots in life where you thought it, even if someone did not say it to you?  What does that even mean “the end of the world”, to you?  We use it as a comparison all the time to life’s crazy circumstances we face.  But, have you ever stopped to really think, what that means, and is there any truth in it?

Recently I was blessed to listen to an amazing series at my home church Element in Wentzville where Pastor Eric gave me some incredible insight on what we reference as “the end of the world”.

This is where you don’t shut down and stop reading.  J I promise if anything it will give you something to think about. Lets look at all the natural disasters happening so frequently right now. Why do you think that is happening? In the bible which is 1/3 prophecy (prophecy means to predict what is going to happen), Jesus says in Matthew 24:4-8 “Watch out that no one deceives you. ⁵ For many will come in my name, claiming, ‘I am the Messiah,’ and will deceive many. ⁶ You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. ⁷ Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. ⁸ All these are the beginning of birth pains”.  Check this out!

http://maps.grida.no/go/graphic/trends-in-natural-disasters

You don’t have to be a genius to see that those numbers are increasing and becoming more frequent.  It’s not global warming, Jesus said this would happen! To top it off in 2011 there has been a natural disaster every month! We could break down that verse even more with more staggering statistics on famine and wars, but I will focus on the natural disasters for now. So is someone, something or perhaps God trying to get our attention?

Whatever your experiencing right now, death in the family, divorce, financial instability, infidelity, depression, or anxiety…it is NOT the end of the world.  Find your strength and rest in Jesus. Start loving others, let go of indifference's and work on your relationship with Jesus so you can be a light for others that need him! In the end what matters is this ⁶ Jesus answered, “I

am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me”. John 14:6.  You can’t have the kingdom of God and all the amazing things he offers without Jesus.    

This is GOOD NEWS! You don’t have to be on this Earth during what the bible calls the tribulation (tribulation means: something that causes great difficulty, affliction, or distress). We will be raptured or caught up off this earth to be with God in Heaven 1 Thessalonians 4 15-18. Don’t wait to turn your life around for the better! We are living in the end times.  Let me be clear because the bible is clear on this “No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father” on the ending day. So, with that being written, are you ready?

If you need to accept Jesus in your heart but are truly lost on how to begin…please let me know.  I would be happy to say the prayer of salvation with you.
Christyb1981@gmail.com

Pain in the neck...

Pain in the neck

It was 3am on Friday morning and I woke up with excruciating pain in my neck! The pain was so intense that it caused me to vomit.  Anxiety started to set in.  I began to pace my living room in total darkness.  My mind started to wonder. I had just received a deep tissue massage that evening around 9pm.  “What the heck did I do to my neck?” I thought.  “Could this be permanent damage…why does it hurt so bad…why can’t I move my neck?” Every move I made I felt pain! This was pain like no pain I HAVE EVER felt before.  I woke my husband up, we prayed.  Praying was the only thing I knew to do to get me through this.  Shortly after that, I asked God to reveal something to me, words of encouragement…the verse Luke 14 came to my mind.  Keep in mind I NEVER read this verse before…I quickly opened my bible app on my phone and the first thing I read was “Healing of a man on the Sabbath”, without even reading the verse I knew that meant I was going to be ok!!! I read the verse and it was about Jesus healing a man, despite it being the Sabbath.  The next thought that came to my mind was that I needed to praise him even though I don’t understand what is happening to me.  I listened to Casting Crowns “praise you in this storm” 3 times.  Ironically when I lifted my hands in praise, my pain was gone. Shortly after that I looked down at my phone for the daily verse and it was Isaiah 41:10 fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

The following day I went to see my PCP, it was a pinched nerve! He prescribed some muscle relaxers and said I should be better in 3 days.  A good friend came over to pray for me, she reminded me of Satan’s work on this earth.  It hit me…this was an attack on me.  For some of you reading…I know what you are thinking? Come on Christy…do you really think the Devil or Satan caused this “pinched nerve”.  Well, let me share with you what I do know about Satan so hang in there with me.

1 Peter 5:8-9 Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. ⁹ Resist him, standing firm in the faith

John 10:10 The thief (or Satan) comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.

These are just two verses that speak to me. It’s important to note that the evil works of the enemy are mentioned throughout the entire bible, over and over again. The title “Satan” occurs 53 times in 47 verses in the Bible. Why would a loving God even allow these evil works on this earth? Bile.org http://bible.org/article/satanology says it perfectly, “To reveal God’s glory, Satan was created as the shining one, the morning star, and, having foresight of what Satan would do, God elected to create Satan and to use the blackness of his sin to reveal His divine essence only more emphatically. What is it that makes the stars shine at night? It is the darkness. In fact, to see their beauty in the clearest fashion, one needs to get away from the manmade lights of the city. It is the darkness that allows them to shine.” 

So, if you truly imagine the devil as a “roaring lion” waiting to steal all your happiness, joy, peace of mind and beliefs, then you will quickly understand why so many people fall to sin and failure. Maybe it’s a pain in the neck, loss of a job, family drama, cancer, or an unhappy marriage, know all of it is part of Satan’s bigger plan to “steal, kill and destroy”.  

I think it’s important to note that you must take responsibility for your own actions.  You cannot live life solely blaming the devil for your problems.  However, it is the root of all evil. 

Sunday morning I woke up feeling so much better. Could it be that God was telling me in Luke 14 that I would be better by Sunday??? Despite what the interpretation of that verse was telling me, I’m thankful that I serve a loving God that I can turn to when I have a “pain in the neck”, where do you turn???

It’s not ALL about you!

I recently got sucked into the stress of life again.  Worrying about my job, kids, money, family, friends, and life! In the scheme of things my life really is great compared to the rest of this starving world. But, then I was hit over the head with some incredible points in the book by Francis Chan called “Crazy Love”.

My take on these points were this; what if this life, these problems, this stress, this money is NOT ABOUT US!!!?? What if we are not the “stars” of the show??? Guess what? Here is some proof that it’s not all about us?

“Have you not known? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength.”

-Isaiah 40:28-29

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.”

-Proverbs 3:5-6 (One I stand on a lot J)

“It’s better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man.”

-Psalm 118:8

“Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh; is anything too difficult for me?”

-Jeremiah 32:27

“Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always.”

-Psalm 105:4

These are just a few stand out verses that gave me a little love nudge that this LIFE is not about me! Is this hard to read? I will be honest…it was hard for me to read.  This is what I love about God’s word; if you force yourself to learn, reflect and acknowledge you grow in this life! You can have fun and live your life to the fullest! I agree with Francis Chan; Worry and stress implies that we don’t believe that GOD is strong enough, powerful enough and BIG enough to help us with our problems. When I realized that… the verses that are all throughout the bible that say “be anxious for nothing”, took on a whole new meaning for me!

Here is another hard to swallow but amazing true point. In James 4:14 it states “What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.”  Its pointing out a common saying “life is short”.  What does that truly mean? It means that this life is NOTHING compared to eternity.  So incomprehensible that it’s hard for us to even imagine.  We are just a speck of dust in this life. 

You only have one shot to get it right. Now, I’m not saying this is easy, but I’m choosing to “be anxious for nothing”. 

Anxiety and Stress is a constant work in progress for me. That is my “status update”!

I was enjoying brunch with some friends this morning.  One of my friends raised a great question about Facebook, “is it a true reality of people’s lives??”  For example people never post as a status update, “I want to divorce my husband”, “I can’t stand my mother”, “I’m struggling with depression”, “My child is driving me crazy and I wish I never had him”, “I’m broke and can’t afford my house payment”, “I feel lonely and I don’t have anyone to help me”, “I’m 20K in credit card debt”, so I was driving home…and it hit me!!! No, Facebook is not a “TRUE” reality of people’s lives.  For the most part we only see the outside, but you never really see what’s truly going on.  What’s wrong with being REAL and letting people know the truth every now and then.  We are all humans, we all make mistakes, we all need encouragement and for the most part we all just need to know that we are loved and that life can and will get better!!!

Recently, I had an anxiety set back.  I had a small anxiety attack.  I was ashamed, embarrassed and afraid.  Here I was writing a blog, and letting everyone know “how to prevent stress” and I started down the same path.  I thought “why is this happening to me all over again”! Then I realized…it’s me!! My old ways were starting to creep back in, the temptation of success started to slowly work itself back into my life.  I needed to get control.  "All man's efforts are for his mouth, yet his appetite is never satisfied." (Ecc. 6:7). This verse means we ALWAYS want more. We work ourselves like dogs…for what? We only as humans crave more! Unless you have something to put your faith into and for me that is Jesus Christ, you will ALWAYS want more.  I had to re-group, re-focus- and re-prioritize, again. 

We all have baggage that we would like to unload, unpack, dismiss, and get rid of.  It’s just what type of baggage we put in our backpack.  Regardless of what type of baggage it might be, the answer is ALWAYS the same.  "Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--His good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:1-2  

I was tested and tempted recently.  I may have failed, but I know what ever was meant to harm, God can turn to good!  Your path may not always be easy; in fact it might be downright impossible. So, take a moment to think about this next statement. Who we are under pressure reveals who we really are.  Who are you???  

Anxiety and Stress is a constant work in progress for me.  That is my “status update”!

Stress is an epidemic in this society!

How do you prevent the silent killer? Stress is an epidemic in this society.  In prior blog posts I outlined exactly how my nervous breakdown happened if you have not read those entries I encourage you do so.  I want to share now what I’m doing to prevent stress from creeping back into my life.  First and foremost I sought God.  Second, I educated myself on the signs and symptoms and cure.  I took control back over my life.  I was not going to let stress control me.  The first book I read to help outline the changes I need in my life was “Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life”. It gave me a great perspective on what I needed to relinquish control on and give up.  For me it was control of every situation and always striving for more in every aspect in my life that got me into my mess.  Not trusting others to help, which meant I had to take on more.  I went through every aspect of my life and cut out everything that was NOT necessary. I defined my role as a sales manager, photographer, wife, mother, friend, sister, daughter and most importantly a Christian and cut out EVERYTHING that was outside of my duties as those listed.  I encourage you to do that…define your roles in life and stay within it. I’m happy to report that setting boundaries and staying within my defined roles has worked out perfectly!!! Other stress reducers for me became putting exercise as a priority, cutting out caffeine, and spiritual meditation. I also saw a qualified Christian counselor for 5 weeks. 

I do hope for a day that I can be off my medication and with God on my side I’m confident that day will come.  My goal of this blog is to raise awareness of the severity of stress and the stronghold it can have on your life if you let it. We all have weakness, struggles, issues and trials in fact it’s the only way Satin can do his work on this earth.  When you realize that…it makes you understand why bad things happen to good people. 

Bad circumstances may be used by God to display His power and grace.

Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. ⁹ But he said to me “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me
2 Corinthians 12:8–10

I’m boasting about my weaknesses so you can see God's amazing Glory!!!