Recently, God blessed Troy and I with the opportunity to relax in the Bahamas but what's even better about this trip is the majority of the expenses were covered because I was also shooting a wedding! Anyway, as I took my seat on the plane the classic signs of anxiety for me kicked into high gear. Tingling, upset stomach and shortness of breath. I started to freak! The thought of having to use that crazy small bathroom on the plane with an upset stomach gave me more anxiety! Then of course the darn seat belt light is on...so I'M stuck. Being on a plane with anxiety is awful. I have an idea...they should make enclosed patios on the side of an air plane so people with anxiety can GET OUT and breathe. (I know that's not possible but it would be nice :)
I find it so interesting that whenever you're trying to relax, escape and enjoy, the Enemy tries to steal it from you. He comes "to kill, STEAL and destroy". So I prepared for battle and started claiming victory over this attack. I had Troy pray for me and reached out to a prayer partner during a layover. Then I did some breathing exercises and thanked God that I had been redeemed from anxiety and told myself this battle is already won. Finally, I turned on my praise and worship music, and began praying and speaking God's word over my attack. My bible verse for the day said "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds. For you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. (James 1:2-4) Well, I didn't barf on my plane seat neighbor and I didn't need to breathe in a brown paper bag, thank God. However, this was not over. Little did I know the battle had just begun. Round one goes to God.
Round two began when we reached the resort. It picked up again and spiraled out of control. We got in on a Wednesday afternoon and I was not able to leave my room and enjoy myself until Thursday afternoon. When I say "enjoy myself" it means one hour or so where the anxiety lessened and then it would rear its ugly head again. I have to admit, I let the enemy in and it whispered fearful thoughts to me this time around. I was in a foreign place and scared, so it just amounted to so much more then it really was. The enemy is great at complicating situations and spilling fear into them. He bends the truth just enough to create more and more fear. Also, I think it's important to note that over the past few weeks I had been feeling signs of anxiety. As I took some time to reflect on why it was happening to me again, I realized that I had gotten off track. The word says we are to put God first and make him our first priority. Somewhere in the hectic time of transitioning into my new "stay-at-home life" to be better mommy and leaving my old life of sales manager, I missed the mark. I started planning for my new life and filling it with STUFF again. Stuff that would keep me away from God and my family. How could I be so dumb? God gave me this opportunity and I was planning to waste it on works of the flesh again, instead of being lead by him. I quickly repented from that and asked God to forgive me. I also repented because for that last 24 hours, I was listening to the Devil's lies and it was creating unbelief and doubt, which was hendering my recovery from this attack.
With a clear mind now, I was able to rest in the promises of our lord. God wants a relationship with us. He wants time with us and he wants us to communicate with him. You have to understand how much God loves you! He wants to fight your battles, he wants you to divide and conquer over the enemy! He is with you, and he adores you, he wants to prosper you and restore whatever is bringing you down. No matter how big or small, bring it all to him and lay it at the cross.
So the constant prayer and praise began. What does praying, speaking God's word and praise do for you in a trial? Well, prayer brings it to his attention. Even though he is an "ALL knowing" God, it's about communication. Imagine your upset with a friend, husband, or family member, if you don't communicate with that person then you can't get the issue resolved. It's the same with God, he wants your requests/prayers to be made known. Prayer also helps you change your mind. You see, if I kept thinking my initial thoughts of "oh crap, here comes a panic attack. I'm going to be hopstialized in a foreign place. It's never going to go away. I will be stuck here. It's going to get worse. I will never be free from this!" Then I very well could've been defeated. BUT, I know God doesn't want that for me...so my prayers changed my thoughts, because God's truths are opposite of those thoughts. God's thoughts are "I'm more than a conqueror, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, be anxious for nothing, God will fight my battles". Then slowly my tingling, shortness of breath began to slow up. Praise God! During the attack, my praise and worship music was pumping in my ears on and off. I knew I would get through it with my Lord and I wanted to fill my soul with praise to release my faith into the heavens! Worship and praise is a great way to show thanksgiving. It's important to "praise God in all circumstances".
I took it step-by-step on Thursday afternoon. I asked for one thing at a time. First, to be able to eat and keep down lunch. Second, to enjoy some time at the pool. Third, to be able to work out. Fourth, to go to dinner with Troy and lastly, some sound sleep and rest. All of those things happened but not without a fight and constant prayer to God. Nevertheless, they still happened. Round two goes to God!
Round three began with friday, the wedding day! I knew God brought us here for a reason. His plan and will is perfect. His timing is always perfect. Even though I was struggling through my time in the Bahamas, I knew there was a great purpose behind it. The morning began rough, but through God's amazing grace, I was able to focus and photograph the wedding!
We left early the next day by choice and the anxiety set in again. We had two layovers to get through. I managed to get sick and be very anxious in the first flight. During the first layover, I reached out to some friends and found out something remarkable! The anxiety event that was at my home church (during my time in the Bahamas) and was featuring my testimony video was a HUGE success. They had to bring in more chairs for the overflow and many, many women's lives were changed and saved! It's no wonder the Enemy was trying so hard to bring me down. I was told he was fighting the good fight with other key women that were involved in that event as well. I wanted to dance in the airport! I became so overwhelmed with God's glory and power. Then I remembered again the daily verse that came up on my phone ."I have fought the fight, finished the race, I have kept the faith". I knew this battle was almost over.
Video From Church On Anxiety (Watch the video by clicking on the link)
We got home and I struggled with morning anxiety again. It lingered for hours and hours. I was weak and tired from battling it. I knew deep down there was a "bigger" reason why I was going through this again. We went to church and the worship band played a song called "Always". I had never heard it before, it brought me to tears of praise. Later, I checked my phone and my best friend had texted me at the same moment that I was worshipping to that song this "Just heard the most amazing song for you, Kristain Stanfill, "Always"." WOW!!! God is ALWAYS with us. I wish I could say that I was done fighting anxiety at this point, but I wasn't. Monday rolled around and I woke with anixiety and it stayed around. I was at a very weak moment and I reached out to a prayer partner who prayed heavily for me. She felt strongly that it was time to surrender this fight to Jesus. In Psalms 18:17 it says "He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes who were too strong for me." This battle was bigger than me and it was time for me to rest in Jesus. We prayed together a VERY strong prayer of surrender and I had peace. The peace that almost melts you away to sleep. But, the Enemy came and robbed it. He threw darts at me and I was having a hard time shielding them off. Called her again and we agreed to disagree with every fiery dart he was throwing. The days became better and I was finally able to get back to my life. But during this, I realized the battle between good and evil is REAL. We MUST protect our minds. You can do this by wearing the sheild of faith and knowing the good news! God always wins, round three goes to God... total knock out!
I find it so interesting that whenever you're trying to relax, escape and enjoy, the Enemy tries to steal it from you. He comes "to kill, STEAL and destroy". So I prepared for battle and started claiming victory over this attack. I had Troy pray for me and reached out to a prayer partner during a layover. Then I did some breathing exercises and thanked God that I had been redeemed from anxiety and told myself this battle is already won. Finally, I turned on my praise and worship music, and began praying and speaking God's word over my attack. My bible verse for the day said "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds. For you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. (James 1:2-4) Well, I didn't barf on my plane seat neighbor and I didn't need to breathe in a brown paper bag, thank God. However, this was not over. Little did I know the battle had just begun. Round one goes to God.
Round two began when we reached the resort. It picked up again and spiraled out of control. We got in on a Wednesday afternoon and I was not able to leave my room and enjoy myself until Thursday afternoon. When I say "enjoy myself" it means one hour or so where the anxiety lessened and then it would rear its ugly head again. I have to admit, I let the enemy in and it whispered fearful thoughts to me this time around. I was in a foreign place and scared, so it just amounted to so much more then it really was. The enemy is great at complicating situations and spilling fear into them. He bends the truth just enough to create more and more fear. Also, I think it's important to note that over the past few weeks I had been feeling signs of anxiety. As I took some time to reflect on why it was happening to me again, I realized that I had gotten off track. The word says we are to put God first and make him our first priority. Somewhere in the hectic time of transitioning into my new "stay-at-home life" to be better mommy and leaving my old life of sales manager, I missed the mark. I started planning for my new life and filling it with STUFF again. Stuff that would keep me away from God and my family. How could I be so dumb? God gave me this opportunity and I was planning to waste it on works of the flesh again, instead of being lead by him. I quickly repented from that and asked God to forgive me. I also repented because for that last 24 hours, I was listening to the Devil's lies and it was creating unbelief and doubt, which was hendering my recovery from this attack.
With a clear mind now, I was able to rest in the promises of our lord. God wants a relationship with us. He wants time with us and he wants us to communicate with him. You have to understand how much God loves you! He wants to fight your battles, he wants you to divide and conquer over the enemy! He is with you, and he adores you, he wants to prosper you and restore whatever is bringing you down. No matter how big or small, bring it all to him and lay it at the cross.
So the constant prayer and praise began. What does praying, speaking God's word and praise do for you in a trial? Well, prayer brings it to his attention. Even though he is an "ALL knowing" God, it's about communication. Imagine your upset with a friend, husband, or family member, if you don't communicate with that person then you can't get the issue resolved. It's the same with God, he wants your requests/prayers to be made known. Prayer also helps you change your mind. You see, if I kept thinking my initial thoughts of "oh crap, here comes a panic attack. I'm going to be hopstialized in a foreign place. It's never going to go away. I will be stuck here. It's going to get worse. I will never be free from this!" Then I very well could've been defeated. BUT, I know God doesn't want that for me...so my prayers changed my thoughts, because God's truths are opposite of those thoughts. God's thoughts are "I'm more than a conqueror, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, be anxious for nothing, God will fight my battles". Then slowly my tingling, shortness of breath began to slow up. Praise God! During the attack, my praise and worship music was pumping in my ears on and off. I knew I would get through it with my Lord and I wanted to fill my soul with praise to release my faith into the heavens! Worship and praise is a great way to show thanksgiving. It's important to "praise God in all circumstances".
I took it step-by-step on Thursday afternoon. I asked for one thing at a time. First, to be able to eat and keep down lunch. Second, to enjoy some time at the pool. Third, to be able to work out. Fourth, to go to dinner with Troy and lastly, some sound sleep and rest. All of those things happened but not without a fight and constant prayer to God. Nevertheless, they still happened. Round two goes to God!
Round three began with friday, the wedding day! I knew God brought us here for a reason. His plan and will is perfect. His timing is always perfect. Even though I was struggling through my time in the Bahamas, I knew there was a great purpose behind it. The morning began rough, but through God's amazing grace, I was able to focus and photograph the wedding!
 |
| You can tell God was with me on this shoot! |
We left early the next day by choice and the anxiety set in again. We had two layovers to get through. I managed to get sick and be very anxious in the first flight. During the first layover, I reached out to some friends and found out something remarkable! The anxiety event that was at my home church (during my time in the Bahamas) and was featuring my testimony video was a HUGE success. They had to bring in more chairs for the overflow and many, many women's lives were changed and saved! It's no wonder the Enemy was trying so hard to bring me down. I was told he was fighting the good fight with other key women that were involved in that event as well. I wanted to dance in the airport! I became so overwhelmed with God's glory and power. Then I remembered again the daily verse that came up on my phone ."I have fought the fight, finished the race, I have kept the faith". I knew this battle was almost over.
Video From Church On Anxiety (Watch the video by clicking on the link)
We got home and I struggled with morning anxiety again. It lingered for hours and hours. I was weak and tired from battling it. I knew deep down there was a "bigger" reason why I was going through this again. We went to church and the worship band played a song called "Always". I had never heard it before, it brought me to tears of praise. Later, I checked my phone and my best friend had texted me at the same moment that I was worshipping to that song this "Just heard the most amazing song for you, Kristain Stanfill, "Always"." WOW!!! God is ALWAYS with us. I wish I could say that I was done fighting anxiety at this point, but I wasn't. Monday rolled around and I woke with anixiety and it stayed around. I was at a very weak moment and I reached out to a prayer partner who prayed heavily for me. She felt strongly that it was time to surrender this fight to Jesus. In Psalms 18:17 it says "He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes who were too strong for me." This battle was bigger than me and it was time for me to rest in Jesus. We prayed together a VERY strong prayer of surrender and I had peace. The peace that almost melts you away to sleep. But, the Enemy came and robbed it. He threw darts at me and I was having a hard time shielding them off. Called her again and we agreed to disagree with every fiery dart he was throwing. The days became better and I was finally able to get back to my life. But during this, I realized the battle between good and evil is REAL. We MUST protect our minds. You can do this by wearing the sheild of faith and knowing the good news! God always wins, round three goes to God... total knock out!
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